Whenever I am in my room all alone, just looking outside my big window I cannot help but reminisce. Around this time a year ago, I was in my bunk at Maju Camp 6 SIR, all alone looking outside my dusty window wondering what I will be doing after National Service. It is surreal. I cannot seem to stop reiterating the fact that being in Australia is just not a dream I was thinking about anymore, it is real. I am here. Far away in fact. I am away from my the family I love most, the cousins I adore, my loyal friends and I am so distant from the one thing I am passionate about most - dance.
Many would want to be in my place right now. I wish I can trade every second I am here for a second to be up on stage again. But I know this is for the best. Hell, I am learning about politics and human rights - the knowledge I yearn most to acquire. I am enlightened... If only I can have the best of both worlds. Personally, I think I will. One fine day, I will do my research on dance and how we can integrate the performing arts together with human rights and create a phenomenon. Oh wait... maybe that has been done before! Come on Amin something more original next time!
Two days ago, friends surprised me with a gift. Something I was hoping for. A Country Road Bag.
But I am not about to ask for anything more... Kind of lost my spirit for birthdays. Two years ago, I celebrated my birth in the jungles of Taiwan. Last year, I was alone in my bunk having a rest after a 12 hour duty at Sembawang Wharf. A Subway sandwich was my birthday cake and thankfully I brought a candle and sang myself a birthday song, made a wish, heartily consume the sandwich and went to sleep. I am not about to ask anyone to patronize me but 22nd of April is just another day to me. Indeed I will be a year older...
I feel that I have accomplished so much in the past 22 years of life but one department continues to file reports of my failures. The department of love just doesn't seem to offer me long time happiness. Well I shall not elaborate any further... People get nausea just listening about my many attempts to find true love. Some even just choose to shut themself (herself) away from me.
I want my mummy. I really miss her alot. Everytime I talk about her to my friends, tear ducts choose to fail me and lose control. Flood gates open and even the sun choose of all days not to evaporate my rivers fast enough to hide the stains on my oh so angelic face. I miss Mdm Normadiah Haron's cooking, especially her tauco tofu and Ayam Lemak Cili Padi. I miss her nursing me back to health and her morning wake up calls for morning prayers. I miss her very much. I wish she was here.
You know, I believe I am living her dream. My mum is an inspiration to me and as well to many who knows her. She have always wanted to get a degree. I remember that day when we were at the Australian Education Fair, as I was busy looking at the many Australian Institutions my mum happened to chance upon brochures and information about a Nursing Degree. I saw that delight in her eyes and how hopeful she was to know more about it. I reckoned if she ever had an opportunity, she would have wanted to take the opportunity to upgrade herself. There were many times before, when she wanted to get a diploma. She never got a chance to, I guess her maternal responsibility took precedence over her ambitions. If only I had all the money in the world, I would have liked to see that degree in the hands of my mum. So I am doing this for her too.
Well there are some things my mum can be proud of. I have been very neat, making my bed each morning, washing my own dishes and often cooking my own meals. hehehe. I love you Mummy dearest.
Mimin's Currently:
Finishing his Briefing Paper on Violence Against Women
Mimin's Praying For:
His Sister NurFarah Liyana to better understand the ways of the world.
Mimin's Yearning For:
Solace
Mimin's Missing:
Mummy Dearest.
EllyqaQistina, AyuSayuBayu,Izzah Hafiya,Iffah Izzati,NurAmalinaSamin,Izwan,Busu
