After my recent break up, I have been in search for answers; mainly the truth. Haven't had that for a long time. People tend to shun the truth don't they. Well, as for me I get slapped by the truth and nothing but the truth. Labels: Ajit, Art, Bimbo, Kinky
My best friends were the key people in bringing the truth to me. And frankly, nothing hurts as much having those dear to you laying out your faults. But they have been very cautious in making this process as painless as possible. Bull!
Art has tried to point out the reality to me and even sited her own experiences. And how interesting is that because it is not everyday you have Art to share her 'past' experiences.
Bimbo's emphasise on time has given me mixed reaction lately. 'Time will heal all wounds'. Darling it doesn't seem to be working!
Ajit gives good hugs and admonish me regularly on the things I say to other people and of the enemies I have accumulated along the years due to my mouth.
Kinky being a master in the art of consoling fallen friends have given me a fair insight of my rights and wrongs in my relationship.
Great advice nonetheless. But Mimin still needs answers.
So I turned to an ex-lover whose existence in my life was to satisfy my fantasies of having an admirer during my days as a polytechnic Arts Junkie.
As much as I appreciated truth, I felt we were being more careful with our words, than trying to console me of my unhappiness. hehe.
I only have this to quote from our conversation:
Me: But you did love me back then right?
N: Umm... I fell in love with the concept of you.
Let me explain, what said person was trying to say was, there was this idea of me that N was in love with. But when an illusion of me is replaced with what is real, the ideal was far better choice. As much as the truth hurts, it allowed me to just lock N's memories in a case and dispose of the key. Hehe. In conclusion, there was no love in the first place.
But do not confuse yourself, N was someone I loved during my Poly days not the recent one.
This idea of love just gets to me sometimes. In truth maybe I am over this recent lover. I am just in love with the idea of having someone to love me. Or Am I?
Can we ever live a lifetime without having someone to love?
This is the question I post to you...
